TRADE-CRAZY!

Why, the Arizona D-Backs are at it again....in the space of just a few days they made a pair of trades with Frostbite Falls, then attempted to further wheel-and-deal with other clubs.

In the first deal, Arizona opened a lot of eyes, obtaining LHP Johann Santana, widely-regarded as the top left-handed starter in all of baseball. Why would the Squirrels, winner of two of the last three World Series, make such a swap? Perhaps it was because of the huge payout the club received: RHP Felix Hernandez, OF Magglio Ordonez, OF Justin Upton, LHP Andrew Miller, 1B Conor Jackson, and Arizona's 1st Round Pick.....WOW. Talk about retooling a roster. The only other player forfeited by the Squirrels was veteran 2B Luis Castillo, and this was no surprise, as he was clearly a bandaid in last year's pennant race.

Amusingly, Santana wasn't shocked to hear that he was dealt. "I know I will be making lots of money the next few years, and they did the best thing for their team. I'll tell you this, I'm going to go into the Hall of Fame wearing a Frostbite Falls hat. In fact, I don't plan to be in Arizona very long. I'm going to have a month-to-month apartment. That Melkonian guy might trade me at any time." You can read more about this deal from Frostbite Falls' perspective here.

As if this wasn't enough, Frostbite later sent RHP Matt Garza and their third-round pick to the D-Backs for OF Delmon Young, then executed a third deal, acquiring veteran SS Edgar Renteria from the Brooklyn Moabs for OF Jason Bay, who slumped last season after two great years in the middle of Frostbite's lineup. Renteria has drawn 'heat' of late for not living up to his huge contract, and his comments didn't exactly endear him to anyone when informed of the deal. "Great," Renteria snapped sarcastically. "Brooklyn wasn't cold enough for me, now I'm dealt to a place called Frostbite? Where is it anyway?" The Moabs have proven that their off-season rhetoric isn't empty: no player's job is safe.

"I've got callouses on my eyeballs from rolling them too hard, too often," moaned Commissioner Scott Hatfield. "Unfortunately, the league requires time to digest deals and it doesn't serve the league's interests to promote unlimited trading. So, I'm afraid that these deals mean that Arizona AND Frostbite can't do any more dealing this month. Though, I hasten to add, there is still time to swap in March, and especially on Draft Day, where there is no limit on swapping."