I AM THE YANKEES

"That's right," said Scott Hatfield, GM of the defending Eastern Division champion Darwin Finches. "Psychologically, at least, I feel like the Bronx Bombers. When I survey the landscape which is BARB, I realize that it's going to be really difficult to improve my club, which had the league's best record last season. The main improvement going to come from players like Khalil Greene, Aaron Rowand, Kelvim Escobar and Dustin McGowan---all of whom had career year in 2007 and figure to improve."

"In fact," commented Hatfield, "I find it difficult to even imagine a way to improve the quality of my planned lineup, which--interestingly enough---envisions players like Carlos Guillen, Jeff Francouer and Chad Billingsley as role players, rather than regulars. I will be fielding a lineup with five switch-hitters, which will give me a definite advantage in late-inning matchups. With a full year of Chone Figgins shuttling between 3B and LF, I see no reason why we won't score runs, or why my pitching staff, led by the bullpen, will be among the best in BARB."

"That's not to say that I'm guaranteeing a pennant," Hatfield allowed. "Things can happen. The other clubs in my division are very talented, and in a short series anything can go down. But there's no doubt in my mind that my needs are few. Right now, I'm looking for a veteran backup catcher, a fourth outfielder and a lefty reliever. That's it. I don't have to figure out who's going to play third (Frostbite), or who in my bullpen will be able to comb their hair, much less get the ball to the ninth inning (Brooklyn), or whether I can count on three of my projected starters (Bedard, Harden, Young) for a full season(Worcester)."

"Again, that's not to say that other clubs aren't talented. Yuma and Arizona both have better rotations than anyone in my division. Worcester and Brooklyn have a lot more infield depth, and for sheer muscle-bound slugging Las Vegas takes a back seat to no one. But I have a formula that works, and I'm going to stick to it. We're the new sheriff in town until someone else proves otherwise."