ROSTER-STRAPPED LUCHADORES LOSE UGLY

Office of the League Commissioner----"This.....was heinous," remarked an anonymous league official, in discussing the strangest Central Division game in many years, as visiting Oakeyland held on to beat the host Luchadores 14-13 in a seesaw affair that saw the two clubs combine for 27 hits, 9 errors, 11 stolen bases and 4 passed balls....in other words, the lowest-quality of ball imaginable, and perhaps the worst-played game in BARB history. Perhaps the only highlight was the quality of the at-bats taken by Matt Holliday, who drove in a personal-best seven runs with four hits. Holliday took a holiday when asked to comment about the game, though, and who can blame him?

"I feel bad for the fans," said normally stand-up Ballers team leader Mike Lowell, just activated from the disabled list. "We won tonight, but I don’t know how. The fans deserve to see a well-played ball game, not a bunch of stumble bums. We stink. Las Vegas stinks. The whole stinking Central Division stinks right now. It’s just not a good decision."

As for Vegas, which used eight pitchers, nobody was talking, and that may have something to do with the lineup they fielded, with recently-activated Alfonso Soriano back kicking balls around in the middle of the infield, Jason Kubel tripping and taking a header out in left, and (most discouragingly) with both Michael Barrett and Jorge Posada ailing, journeyman Jorge Cantu and rookie Joey Votto were summoned to catch.

Nor was Oakeyland immune to whatever was infecting the leather. Their catcher, Ivan Rodriguez, allowed successive passed balls with the bases juiced, setting up Holliday’s three-run double under the glove of Conor Jackson, and the inexplicable Stephen Drew (brought in on a double switch to play 2B) threw a ball into the dugout for yet another earned run.
Anyway, Oakeyland tried valiantly to give the game away, and at one point trailed 12-9 to the host Luchadores, but the whiff of failure was just too strong. In the ninth, with a 13-12 lead and Mariano Rivera on the mound, the Ballers loaded the bases when Votto threw away a bunt attempt and (one batter later) when Rivera, attempting to cover first on a grounder hit to Soriano, dropped the ball. Lowell hit a fly fall to score the runner from third, and Rivera had blown his first save of the year.

Las Vegas failed to score in the bottom of the tenth off Bobby Howry (2-0, 4.15) and in the top of the 10th , Lowell singled against Kerry Wood (0-2, 1.93) and took second on a busted hit-and-run. Sacrificed to third, Lowell then scored the go-ahead (and 27th!) run of the contest on a fly ball, and Brad Lidge worked a scoreless tenth for the save and a 14-13 Oakeyland win. But it might as well have been UGLYland, it was so bad.

In other (less odious) action:

YUMA 1, BROOKLYN 0 (1st game of DH)
WP: C.C. Sabathia (5-1, 1.94)
LP: Damaso Marte (0-2, 4.72)

BROOKLYN 3, YUMA 0 (2nd game of DH)
WP: Roy Oswalt (4-2, 3.04)
LP: Roy Halladay (1-3, 3.91)

Moabs ace Oswalt won a ‘Battle Roy-al’ versus Firebirds mainstay Halladay, and ended up using 115 pitches for a five-hit shutout as host Brooklyn (16-15) snapped a four-game losing streak in the second half of a twinight doubleheader that saw the Moabs only gain a split despite holding Yuma to only one run.

That was because, in the opener, Firebirds ace C.C. Sabathia pitched a shutout of his own, outlasting rookie Micah Owings (6 IP, 0 ER) to become the loop’s first five-game winner this season, the only run in the game being Russell Martin’s eighth-inning solo homer!
In the nightcap, Halladay gave up all three runs in a fourth inning highlighted by Brian McCann’s bases-loaded single, but that was all Oswalt needed. Despite the split, Yuma (21-12) has won eight of its last ten to retake control of the Western Division they have always dominated.

BLACK MESA 12, FROSTBITE FALLS 6
WP: Takashi Saito (4-0, 0.33)
LP: Carlos Marmol (1-1, 2.37)

Takashi Saito was blown up in the fifth, giving up a grand slam to Carlos Beltran to give the host Squirrels a 6-3 lead, but the Anomalies loaded the bases three times in the eighth with help from the clanking glove of Edgar Renteria, and when the smoke cleared, had scored a season-high eight runs in the frame. The big rally put the kibosh on the Squirrels’ hopes of extending their winning streak to eight games, while the Anomalies (16-14) pulled a half-game ahead of Lexington in the West.

CASSELTON 2, WORCESTER 0
WP: Aaron Harang (1-4, 4.10)
LP: Tim Hudson (0-2, 4.21)

Tim Hudson took a shutout into the sixth, but the visiting Horned Toads went one better, as previously-winless Aaron Harang combined with two relievers on a seven-hit shutout and Ken Griffey drove in both runs with a solo HR (his fifth of the season) and a sac fly. Harang (7 IP, 4 H, 5 K) had his best performance in BARB dating back to last August, when he was the former (San Jose) Rockets’ best hope of ending a losing streak.

DARWIN 6, LEXINGTON4
WP: Zack Greinke (3-1, 3.86)
LP: Dustin McGowan (0-3, 5.12)
SV: Broxton (1)

Zack Greinke beat the club that traded him and the guy he was traded before to earn his first win of the year with the Finches, and David Ortiz, Lance Berkman and Carlos Guillen all hit home runs to pace the Finches attack, and at least keep the Unnatural Selections within striking distance of streaking Frostbite Falls.